Parenting, Unplugged

  By Jan Pinborough

The Savior spoke four simple words: “Behold your little ones.” The Nephites turned their eyes toward their children. And what followed is among the most sacred events in all of scripture. (See 3 Nephi 17:23-24).

I first experienced “beholding” when my first daughter was a newborn. Her small, insistent cry had awakened me at about midnight, and I was getting ready to feed her when it happened. She opened her eyes wide and looked for several long, precious moments straight into my eyes. As she and I truly “beheld” each other for the first time, I sensed something about the eternal bond we would share.

The study of neurobiology has confirmed the vital importance of parent-child “beholding”. According to neurobiologist Dr. Allan N. Score, the non-verbal communication of “mutual gaze” is essential to the proper development of the infant brain. In later years, this connection remains crucial to the development of the minds, hearts, and spirits of our growing children. 

“Beholding” is not giving a casual, distracted glance. It is the act of attending to another with the heart and mind. It is giving the kind of focused attention that says, “I see you. You are important to me.”

For today’s parents, this kind of beholding often requires the discipline to unplug, a conscious choice to turn away from our screens and turn off our digital devices. It may mean resisting the temptation to check our text messages or scroll through social media posts. It may involve thoughtfully establishing personal and family media rules, setting boundaries that will protect the sacred time that we give to one another in our families daily.

By striving to more fully and more frequently behold our little ones, we will nourish our children’s sense of worth, enrich our relationships with one another, and enjoy more of those sacred moments when we see into the hearts of our children. 

Disconnect and Listen with Love

“The answer to our prayer of how to meet our children’s needs may be to more often technologically disconnect. Precious moments of opportunity to interact and converse with our children dissolve when we are occupied with distractions. Why not choose a time each day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other? Simply turn everything off. When you do this, your home may seem quiet at first; you may even feel at a loss as to what to do or say. Then, as you give full attention to your children, a conversation will begin, and you can enjoy listening to each other.” -Rosemary M. Wixom 

Where to Travel Based on Your Interests

Via Better Homes and Gardens

Your Outdoor Personality: Land Rover

Ground control to Major Tom: Make a trip to one of these otherworldly landscape, and you'll feel like you're on another planet.

Hawai'i Volcanoes, Hawai'i
This part has two of the world's most active volcanoes, Kilauea and Mauna Loa. That means you can see live steam vents lava-formed black rock, and a glowing "lava lake" at night.

Badlands, South Dakota
This supernatural landscape, filled with eroded buttes and pinnacles, has rich mammal fossil beds and is surrounded by prairie that's home to bison, bighorn sheep, prairie dogs, wildflowers, and birds.

Petrified Forest, Arizona
The trees here are horizontal: This national park is one of the world's largest concentrations of petrified logs--trees that turned from wood to multi-hue stone millions of year ago. Stop at the overlooks to see the vibrant rolling hills of bentonite clay and sandstone sediment called the Painted Desert.

Craters of the Moon, Idaho
Formed from eight eruptive periods out of the Great Rift (cracks in the earth that stretch 52 miles), this NPS site preserves an expanse of ancient lava flows that cover 618 square miles.

Bryce Canyon, Utah
You can explore the unique natural amphitheaters, plateaus, and "hoodoos"--eroded pillars of rock created by rain, snow, and frost--by foot, car (take the 18-mile scenic drive), or horseback.

Yellowstone, Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana
Geysers, yes (Old Faithful is one of about 500). But also waterfalls, canyons, lakes, mountains, and hot springs--all resting on an active volcano.

Your Outdoor Personality: Desert Explorer

You'll take the dry heat any day to see the forests of cacti and wildlife that thrice in harsh environments.

Grand Canyon, Arizona
Experience this American icon from all vantage points: Explore the South Rim, then the 1,000-feet-higher (and less crowded) North Rim. For a more challenging trip, hike, walk, or boat the inner canyon.

Big Bend, Texas
Even though you get a wide contrast of terrains--mountains, rivers, volcanic highlands--most of Big Bend is the Chihuahuan Desert.

Joshua Tree, California
Be sure to visit the high and low elevations of this desert, where you'll find creosote bushes, Mojave yuccas, ocotillo, and cholla cactus--and maybe catch a glimpse of the endangered desert tortoise.

Death Valley, California and Nevada
It's a land of extremes: Death Valley has the highest-recorded temperature on Earth and the lowest spot in North America (Badwater, 282 feet below sea level), and yet Telescope Peak is snow-covered much of the year.

Saguaro, Arizona
Part desert, part mountains: Walk the Desert Discovery Nature Trail to see the saguaro cacti, then head to the Rincon Mountain District for hiking and scenic overlooks.

Zion, Utah
These majestic 2,000-foot sandstone cliffs are home to 1,000 plant species and 207 bird species, including the endangered California condor.

Your Outdoor Personality: Tree Hugger

Just imagine: You're wandering down a shady path of ancient sequoias. Or surrounded by towering redwoods. Many parks have forests, but these are must-see landmarks.

Sequoia and Kings Canyon, California
This national park was established to protect the largest tree on earth, the sequoia, from logging. Also on hand: Mount Whitney, the highest peak in the contiguous United States.

Congaree, South Carolina
Boardwalks and canoe trails offer easy access to the largest expense of old-growth hardwood forest in the United States.

Olympic, Washington
Walk in this rain forest--initially protected because of its elk herd--among conifers, bigleaf maples, Douglas firs, western hemlock, and red cedar, and you'll experience the earth's greatest density of living organisms in a given area (aka biomass).

Redwood, California
The main attraction here are the 350-foot-tall redwood trees, and you can pick your path to see them, whether it's hiking, biking, or paddling down the Smith River.

Muir Woods National Monument, California
Located 11 miles north of San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge, this monument preserves an old-growth redwood forest in honor of naturalist and environmental conservationist John Muir.

Shenandoah, Virginia
Combine a scenic drive with walks through the forest as you make your way up 105-mile Skyline Drive through the heart of the park.

Your Outdoor Personality: Mountaineer

Give me peaks, lots of peaks, and elevation, too. You want your head in the clouds with your feet on the ground to experience the thunderous waterfalls and crystal lakes. 

Grand Teton, Wyoming
So many ways to take in the snow-capped peaks: Drive the Teton Park Road where you may see the antelope-like pronghorn, hike to one of the lakes, or float down the Snake River.

Glacier, Montana
See the beauty of glaciers through mountains, lakes, and Going-to-the-Sun Road, the world-famous 50-mile highway. Look for mountain goats and bighorn sheep at Logan Pass, the highest point you can get to by car.

Denali, Alaska
You can try all levels of adventures here, including a tour bus trip through the park (look for the caribou!), nature walks, and even mountaineering on Denali, North America's tallest peak.

Great Smoky Mountains, North Carolina and Tennessee
These mountains are history. They preserve the living heritage of the Cherokee Indians, log buildings and structures from the pioneer and Depression eras, and the Appalachian Trail.

Cuyahoga Valley, Ohio
You're just outside Cleveland and Akron, but the deep forests and the Towpath trail that follows the historic route of the Erie Canal take you worlds away.

Your Outdoor Personality: Water Baby

Are you just as happy paddling a kayak as you are relaxing on a beach? Is time at the shore your ideal vacation? Bet you didn't realize so many of our beaches are part of the National Parks Services, too.

Everglades, Florida
This vast, protected ecosystem is home to abundant wildlife, including endangered manatees and crocodiles.

Channel Islands, California
Our own Galapagos, the islands' isolation has allowed endemic fox, lizard, salamanders, and bird species to thrive. Catch glimpses of humpback, minke, gray, and blue whales on your boat trip out.

Acadia, Maine
Part island, part mainland, Acadia's 50,000 acres include Maine's rocky coastline, forests, mountains, and carriage roads. From October 7 to March 6, Cadillac Mountain is the first place in the United States to see the sunrise.

Cape Hatteras National Seashore, North Carolina
On three barrier islands in the Outer Banks, Cape Hatteras offers long stretches of beach, ocean-view camping, a home for sea turtles, and some of the best stargazing on the East Coast.

Biscayne, Florida
Shore up your sea legs so you can kayak, cruise, or snorkel in the blue waters to see butterfly fish, parrot fish, sea turtles, and all the creatures in the coral reef.

Fire Island National Seashore, New York
No cars allowed! You'll take a ferry to Fire Island, where you can mix hiking and biking with beach days.

Favorite Hikes from Park Rangers

Echo Canyon Loop (Chiricahua National Monument, Arizona)
Half a mile from the trailhead, you'll reach the grotto, an amazing rock formation, including a big boulder suspended between two rock spires. you'll continue to walk through oak and pine trees mixed with cacti and agaves, so you'll get to see plants from all four ecosystems. The 3.3-mil loop is long enough to fee like you've done something without taking all day.

Au Sable Lighthouse Trail (Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, Michigan)
You'll walk along the Lake Superior shoreline for 1.5 miles, passing remnants of a 19th-century shipwreck, before reaching 10 acres of historic red-brick structures surrounding the lighthouse, which you can go into. Along the way, listen for songbirds, which migrate south for more than 100 miles over water to get here in late summer.

Dingmans Creek Trail (Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area, Pennsylvania)
It may be short, but this .8-mile out-and-back is packed with scenery. You'll pass Silverthread Falls almost immediately, then end at a viewing platform overlooking Dingmans Falls, the second highest waterfall in Pennsylvania. Since the trail is a boardwalk almost the whole way, it's stroller- and wheelchair-accessible. And the dense foliage and cool stream help keep the temperature down.

Cheeseboro Canyon Trail (Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area, California)
The trail follows an old ranching road and passes through a valley with golden grass-covered hills on either side. You'll likely see woodpeckers, but you'll definitely see their acorns stashed away in perfectly drilled holes in the oak trees. The trail extends 4.6 miles from the trailhead, but I recommend turning around the near the picnic area, about 1.6 miles from the trailhead.

Trillium Gap Trail (Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina and Tennessee)
To get to the trailhead, you drive along the 6-mile Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail, passing historic cabins and other structures from the late 1800s. Once on the trail, you'll walk through an old-growth forest. You can turn around after a mile and a half at Grotto Falls, a waterfall you can walk behind, or continue to the top of Mount Le Conte. Watch for the llamas carrying supplies to the lodge!

Your 31-Day Guide to Living Happier and Healthier via Good Housekeeping

1. Stock up on citrus.

When you see all those gorgeous in-season grapefruits, oranges, clementines, and pomelos in the produce aisle, grab an armful! Winter citrus can help keep skin looking healthy thanks to vitamin C, which aids in collagen production. In fact, an American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study found that people who ate foods high in vitamin C had fewer wrinkles and less age related dry skin than those who didn't. Try clementine sections sprinkled with pistachios or sweet grapefruit dipped in Greek yogurt for a snack.

2. Make veggies the stars.

Whether you're slimming down or just staying well, vegetables are your friends, says GH's M.D. Dr. Mehmet Oz. He had women try 10 diets for the Great Diet Showdown episode of his show. Tiffany, who lost 31 pounds, says, "I saute onions, peppers, mushrooms, corn--whatever I have in the freezer--and toss that on a bed of baby arugula and spinach."

3. Book all your doctor visits.

Open your calendar app and make your appointments for the year in one sitting--not only will you get the anxiety inducing nuisance over with, but exams will be less likely to get squeezed out as life gets bonkers. Start with your GP, and ask which screenings (e.g. mammogram, colonoscopy) you're due for. Slot those in, then move on to the dentist's office, etc.

4. Share resolutions--carefully.

This year you're gonna drop 10 pounds! But before you post your intent on Facebook, hold up: "Some research shows that telling others your goal makes you feel like you've already achieved it," says Dr. Oz. But other studies indicate that sharing progress can help you keep going, he adds. Dr. Oz's advice: Confide in one friend, "then share achievements with others when you're on the road to success."

5. Get a plant.

Swing by the garden center after brunch this weekend. Just the presence of indoor plants can lower human stress levels, research shows, and one study found that actively caring for plants calmed the autonomic nervous system and lowered blood pressure. And when people work near plants, they report greater concentration, satisfaction, and perceived air quality.

6. Do. One. Thing. At. A. Time.

Multitasking doesn't make you more efficient, but it does stress you out, says mindfulness expert Pedram Shojai, author of The Art of Stopping Time. "If your focus is fragmented, you'll likely find yourself getting anxious as new items come up when old ones are still incomplete," he says. Instead, he suggests, organize your activities into chunks of time, such as kid time and cooking time, and then "commit to being focused in that allotted time and see what happens."

7. Scent your space.

Because smell is associated with the parts of the brain that process emotion and store memories, certain aromas can affect mood, says olfactory expert Rachel Herz, PhD., author of The Scent of Desire. Research shows that vanilla makes people more relaxed and joyful (mmm, baking), while peppermint can boost energy and lavender can zap stress.

8. Be a stair master.

Take 10 minutes to run up the stairs in your office or at home. A 2017 student in the journal Physiology & Behavior found that tired women who climbed stairs for 10 minutes got a bigger energy boost than those who had the caffeine equivalent of a can of soda or half a cup of coffee (and burned calories, too!).

9. Decorate with history.

In happy and long-lived cultures, people often display items from their families' pasts, says The Blue Zones of Happiness author Dan Buettner. "They remember and honor where they come from," he says. "We find that in happier cultures around the world, folks feel like part of a continuum." So hang your grandparents' wedding portrait or put meaningful memorabilia on shelves.

10. Un-ick your phone.

Like, now! We check our phones 47 times a day on average, according to a recent survey from the professional services firm Deloitte, and if you've taken yours into the ladies' room, you're not the only one. But that means phones carry about 10 times as much bacteria as most toilet seats, says Charles Gerba, PhD., a microbiologist  and professor at the University of Arizona, Tuscon. (British research even found that one in six devices was contaminated with E. coli.)

11. Plan your getaway.

Women who vacation at least twice a year have a lower heart attack risk than those who do so rarely. And researchers have found that even thinking about an upcoming trip can boost happiness for weeks.

12. Do yoga with your honey.

A Sunday morning couples' class could make Sunday afternoon much more fun. Experts at Loyola's Sexual Wellness Clinic believe partner yoga helps couples get more comfortable with each other's bodies, a boon for better sex. Solo yoga can increase enjoyment as well, affecting arousal, desire and satisfaction--the practice helps relax your mind and strengthen pelvic muscles.

13. Listen for motivation.

Exercisers who saved an audiobook for the gym worked out 51% more often than those who didn't, per a study in Management Science.

14. Pitch in to make a difference.

Research shows that pitching in regularly can lead to less stress and lower blood pressure. So use this day to jump-start a longer-term personal commitment and volunteer to clean up a park or help at an animal shelter.

15. Dive into hydrotherapy.

Feeling sore? Clients at The Spa at Rancho Valencia in Rancho Santa Fe, CA, switch between 10 minutes in a hot sauna and 30 seconds in a 60 degree bath, a treatment known as hydrotherapy. "The drastic temperature change increases blood flow and flushes out lactic acid," says spa director Kristi Dickinson, making them feel energized. Research suggests that hydrotherapy may aid in muscle recovery more than a day of rest. For at-home treatment, end a shot shower with a burst of ice-cold water.

16. Try just one move.

Plyometric exercises get you fast results, says GH fitness partner Jillian Michaels. Try burpee push-ups (squat and place hands on floor; jump feet into plank; drop chest to ground and perform a push-up; jump feet forward to squat position; jump up, reaching hands over head, and repeat sequence for 30 seconds; rest; do two more sets).

17. Dump the shores.

Money can't buy happiness--buy it can buy time, which is the next best thing. A large 2017 study found that people who spent money on time-saving services, such as using TaskRabbit to get someone to clean out the garage, obtained greater life satisfaction and happiness than those who shelled out for material goods. If money is tight, take on the least favorite chore of a friend and have her do the same.

18. Tidy up to eat less.

If you can hardly see your counters through all the papers, Post-its and not-yet-put-away groceries, you may pay for that chaos on the scale. In one study, researchers found that when women were surrounded by clutter, they tended to eat more cookies--especially when stressed. Take 20 minutes to whisk it all where it belongs, and you may eat more mindfully in days to come.

19. Sport cute exercise gear.

Spend the afternoon shopping for workout clothes that flatter your body: studies show that what we wear affects the way we feel, which impacts our ability to get stuff done, says Hajo Adam, PhD., a professor at Rice University. It's a phenomenon known as "enclothed cognition," and it's as true in Zumba as at work.

20. Follow your curiosity.

Another sleepy Sunday? Today's the day you try Ethiopian food, attend a ballet or take a painting class--whatever feels fun. When researchers followed 7,500 people for 25 years, they found that those who complained of major boredom were roughly twice as likely to die from heart disease.

21. Play your song.

Blasting any happy-making tune can work multiple mind-body wonders including reducing pain during exercise, elevating mood and lowering stress, research shows. So make a playlist--any songs that float your spirit will do the job.

22. Take back your lunch break.

If you scarf your sammie at your desk while skimming the Web, you're in good company: Only one in five Americans actually takes a lunch break, according to a survey, even though doing so has been linked to increased productivity.

23. Donate old clothes.

Bye-bye, too-tight jeans. "Keeping smaller clothes as motivation to slim down is baloney," says Kit Yarrow, PhD., a psychologist at Golden Gate University, "and it tends to backfire." Studies show that muffin-top shaming doesn't help, but focusing on being healthy does. After taking your clothes to Goodwill drop-off, take a lighter-cooking class or meet a pal for a hike.

24. Be your owl pen pal.

When your inner critic picks up her bullhorn, jot down the kind words you'd say to a friend in the same situation. "We have such a hard time channeling compassion for ourselves," says Emma Seppala, PhD., of Stanford's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research. "Writing it down makes it easier to shift perspective."

25. Switch up your routine.

Any exercise is good for you, but one study found that people who worked out in multiple ways were less likely to have shortened telomeres, the DNA segments on the ends of chromosomes that tend to break down as we age (longer telomeres are thought to be an indication that a body is aging slowly). Sign up for tai chi, rock climbing, crew, and Pilates.

26. Rethink your entryway.

Make the chaotic zone by the door a calm, happy space, advises Carly Moeller, founder of interior design firm Unpatterned. Set up simple systems (a mail basket, a shoe bench, hooks) for tidying. Then move art or flowers from the living room and invest in a mirror or a colorful rug. "You can be a little cheeky because its a small area."

27. Snooze to get close.

Getting sufficient rest can make you feel ready for action. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who got more sleep had more desire the next day and an overall easier time becoming aroused. Every additional hour they slept increased their likelihood of having sex by 14%. So skip late-night Web searches and hit the hay.

28.  Get new kicks.

Shop in the afternoon, when feet are slightly swollen to get the right size and avoid pinchy shoes. Bring your old pair so shoe store staff can assess which areas are most worn so as to suggest a pair with appropriate support for your gait. Do squats while trying on new shoes. If the shoes are properly supportive, your knee should move over your foot, not inward.

29. Pay yourself a compliment.

Repeat after us: "Today is my day. I'm thankful for me." Positive self-talk can help you focus on what's good in your life, says psychologist Joy Harden Bradford, PhD. Research shows that a little gratitude can make you feel happier and more satisfied and even improve your sleep. "If you repeat an affirmation related to gratitude in the morning, you're likely to show and feel more of it throughout that day," Bradford says.

Help Kids Feel Thankful All Year via Good Housekeeping

Reward Gratitude

Put out an empty jar, suggests WE co-founder Craig Kielburger. Whenever your child shows that he's thankful to you or someone else, drop a marble in the jar. When it's full, take him out for a treat.

Put a Pause on Buying

Ask your family to commit to an entire week without excess spending. For example, eat in and play board games instead of your usual Friday night dinner-and-a-movie ritual. You'll have just as much fun, and your children will appreciate the luxury of a night out even more.

Create a Capsule

Each year on the same day (say, a birthday or special anniversary) have your child write what he is thankful for on a slip of paper. Date it, slip it in a plastic bag and bury it in the backyard, says Kielburger. A year later, dig it up. Repeat year after year and watch the gratitude grow!

Written by Alexis Reliford

Excerpts from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Take, for instance, studies from the past decade examining the impacts of exercise on daily routines. When people start habitually exercising, even as infrequently as once a week, they start changing other, unrelated patterns in their lives, often unknowingly. Typically, people who exercise start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. It's not completely clear why. But for may people, exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change. "Exercise spills over," said James Prochaska, a University of Rhode Island researcher. "There's something about it that makes other good habits easier."

Studies have documented that families who habitually eat dinner together seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and more confidence. Making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity, a greater sense of well-being, and stronger skills at sticking with a budget. It's not that a family meal or a tidy bed causes better grades or less frivolous spending. But somehow those initial shifts start chain reactions that help other good habits take hold.

If you focus on changing or cultivating keystone habits, you can cause widespread shifts. However, identifying keystone habits is tricky. To find them, you have to know where to look. Detecting keystone habits means searching out certain characteristics. Keystone habits offer what is known within academic literature as "small wins." They help other habits flourish by creating new structures, and they establish new cultures where change becomes contagious.

Small wins are exactly what they sound like, and are part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, an influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves. "Small wins are steady application of small advantage," one Cornell professor wrote in 1984. "Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion that favor another small win." Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.

"Small wins do not combine in a neat, linear, serial form, with each step being a demonstrable step closer to some predetermined goal," wrote Karl Weick, a prominent organizational psychologist. "More common is the circumstance where small wins are scattered. . . .like miniature experiments that test implicit theories about resistance and opportunity and uncover both resources and barriers that were invisible before the situation was stirred up."

Just Chill via Better Homes and Gardens

Meditation is for you! Even if you can't picture sitting perfectly still or completely quieting your brain, you can meditate--and tap into its many health benefits. Keep reading to find a style that's the right fit.

Thanks to an ever-expanding body of research showing an almost endless list of benefits--including lower blood pressure, less anxiety, relief from chronic pain, just to name a few--meditation has truly gone mainstream. Schools are teaching it to kids to help them stress less and perform better; airlines, including Virgin Atlantic and Delta, have in-flight meditation options; and even the United States Marines have offered mindfulness training before deployments.

With so much evidence piling up, why aren't we all booking one-way tickets to the Land of Zen? We can't sit still. Our mind wanders. We're too busy.

Forget the excuses. First off, time isn't truly a barrier, says psychologist Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., author of Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion. Goldstein's research found that meditating five minutes a day, five days a week was enough to lower stress and even enhance the connection you feel with others.

Second, you don't have to sit completely still at a specific time. "Meditation and mindfulness can be woven throughout your day, wherever you are," Goldstein says. "You might take a mindful walk focusing on your footsteps or pause in your morning shower to pay attention to how the water feel on your skin. It's all about finding what works for you."

The biggest and most practical benefits of practicing meditation or weaving moments of mindfulness into your day: You'll enjoy life more while managing the constant juggling act. "Practicing meditation and being more mindful allows you to be more present for your family, your job, your workout--everything."

Not quite sure how to do it? Our guide will get you started.

Try a mindful moment doing dishes. As you wash, focus on the warmth of the water, the smoothness of the dishes, the tickle of the suds.

Ready, Set, Focus
Meditation isn't about emptying your head of thoughts, it's about bringing focus to them. "When you realize your mind is wandering, that's the moment meditation starts to work its magic," Goldstein says. The process of noticing your thoughts drifting, and the effort you make to bring them back (without criticizing yourself), builds your inner patience and calm. That's why meditation is called a practice.

What's Your Meditation Type?

All forms of meditation work in a similar way: You choose something to focus on--your breath, an image--and when your mind wanders, you gently bring it back. The key is finding a style that works for you. Here's a snapshot of four types. Take your pick!

1.  Mindful meditation

In a nutshell: Mindfulness is about being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and environment in a nonjudgmental way; you're staying in the present and observing everything you're feeling and thinking. "Mindfulness is about accepting our feelings and thoughts as they are," says Michelle Becker, an instructor at the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness.

How it works: You can do this anywhere: at home, in the office, on hold with customer service. Begin by focusing on your breath. Each time your mind drifts, bring your attention back. Don't criticize. Instead of thinking, I'm so bad at this, think, Ah, welcome back.

2.  Mantra meditation

In a nutshell: This technique involves choosing a mantra--typically a one- or two-styllable soud or word that you silently repeat to yourself. This allows you to be in a restful yet alert state, says Anjali Bhagra, M.D., associate professor of medicine and chair of Mayo Clinic's Integrative Medicine and Health program.

How it works: Sit in a comfortable position and begin silently repeating your word. "Om" is a popular one, but choose any word or sound that you like. As you become more practiced, you may make your mantra a quality you'd like to have more of: patience, compassion, joy.

3. Walking meditation

In a nutshell: This is basically an on-the-go form of mindful meditation, but instead of focusing your awareness on your breath, you're noticing the sensations of walking, says Becker, who suggests beginning by practicing in your backyard. Eventually, you can move to somewhere calm like a nature preserve, then start weaving it into your daily life: walking mindfully across the parking lot to your office, while shopping, or to meet a friend.

How it works: Start in a standing position, noticing how your feet feel. Do you feel pressure where your feet are in contact with the ground? Start walking, paying attention to how your weight shifts from one side of your body to the other. Notice how it feels as you lift your foot, place your heel down, prepare for your next step. Continue walking, and any time your mind wanders from focusing on how you're walking, gently bring it back.

4. Guiding meditation

In a nutshell: This is based on the theory that your body can respond to imagery as it would to a genuine experience. (Need proof? Imagine yourself sucking on a lemon right now.) Guided meditation typically uses a script to walk you through a relaxing, enjoyable scenario to promote calm.

How it works: With each breath, imagine yourself inhaling IN relation and exhaling OUT tension. As your body relaxes, picture yourself at the beach or another calming, pleasant place. Imagine the scene in detail, using all of your senses: Feel the sun's rays warming your skin and the sand between your toes; listen to the waves crashing; see the bright blue sky.

Try a mindful moment waiting in line. Silently repeat to yourself: "May the cashier by happy and at ease." It can help defuse an irritating situation.

Benefits of Prayer
When neuroscientist Andrew Newberg, M.D., author of How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain, asked nuns to pray while being monitored by a brain scanner, he noticed that the changes taking place were similar to those of seasoned meditators. If you pray regularly, you're likely already reaping benefits of meditation, including less anxiety and a sharpened sense of focus and calm. Likewise, people who meditate enjoy the science-backed advantages of prayer, such as decreased blood pressure and enhanced immune response.

Go from Om to Zzz
If your favorite part of yoga is the last five minutes when you drift into stillness and emerge feeling rejuvenated, then you'll probably love yoga nidra, or sleep meditation. In this guided meditation, a calming voice leads you from a waking to dreaming state and ultimately, into deep sleep. Don't be fooled by the name: Yoga nidra doesn't involve traditional asana poses, says Karen Brody, founder of the Bold Tranquility, a yoga nidra meditation company for women and author of the forthcoming book Daring to Rest. Yoga nidra can be an easy way to start exploring meditation because you can practice it when falling asleep or if you wake up in the middle of the night.

This Is How We Meditate
"I use a pair of high-quality, over-ear headphones to accompany my favorite guided mediation apps or ambient music. I use them nearly exclusively for meditation, so they feel distinctive in their purpose, and they help me have an immersive experience. When I see them, I'm subtly reminded to do my daily meditation practice." -Anastasia Alt, 27, founder of Dream Space

"I'm a working mom of a special needs child, and my life often feels hectic and filled with a million to-dos.  When a friend of mine urged me to try a meditation app, I was hesitant, but I tried it and was instantly hooked. Meditating makes me feel better about myself, which inspires me to make better choices for my family and myself. Now, I do the app's Commuting Meditation while taking the train to and from work, and I use the deep sleep meditations before bed. Bonus: My son likes to fall asleep to it, too." -Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, 40, blogger

"I'm a really active person, so sitting for any length of time is a challenge. Walking meditation is my thing. I do my best mediations running on the beach or hiking, and if I'm moved to sit, I plunk myself down in nature." -Tracy Barone, 53, author of Happy Family

Try a mindful moment brushing your teeth. Don't zone out. Focus on the circular, repetitive movement of the toothbrush and the taste of the toothpaste.

Kid Zone
Children are naturally good meditators; they're living very much in the moment. "Considering the overscheduled culture in which kids are growing up, it means a lot for them to be able to just stop and be calm without having to perform or be judged," explains Elina Snel, author of Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids.

Around age 5 is a good time to introduce meditation in a relaxed, simple way by encouraging kids to pay attention to their breath, Snel says. She recommends this basic exercise for kids and adults to do together.

Sit in a comfortable spot on the floor with legs crossed. Ask your child to place her right hand flat on the floor in front of her, fingers spread. (You do the same.) Begin by touching the base of your right thumb with a finger from the left hand, slowly moving up along the thumb while inhaling quietly, Once you've both reached the top of your thumbs, move slowly back down while Move on to the remaining fingers, inhaling as you move up and exhaling as you come back down. Repeat with the other hand.

Future-Proof Your Finances via Women's Day

Future You: The Devoted Caregiver

People in their 40s, 50s, and 60s have a trio of obligations to worry about--college for their kids, retirement savings for themselves, and caring for an older parent," says Jean Chatzky, financial expert and author of Age Proof. "You can borrow for college if you have to. You can kick retirement down the road a few years if you must. But when it comes to aging parents, you often can't put it off, and you can't exactly say no." And we don't. Nearly 30% of Americans with a parent age 65 or older help Mom or Dad out financially, according to the Pew Research Center--and that's actually more common in lower-income households.

Mind Your Money

You may not need to know every bank password and outstanding bill at this point, but you do need to know what your parents want life to look like as they age and whether you'll be on the hook to help, says Chatzky. "People tend to avoid these conversations, so I suggest the 70/40 rule. When a parent hits 70 or a child hits 40, it's time to talk," she says. Lean on a pro to make these chats less awkward. Start by calling the investment firm that houses your parent's IRA or 401K--many offer simple and free retirement online tools. Or search the Garrett Planning Network (garrettplanningnetwork.com), which has a database of fee-only financial planners who charge by the hour without long-term commitments. A financial planner can also help create a checklist of paperwork to pull together, such as power of attorney forms, and designate beneficiaries on bank accounts, investments, and insurance policies.

Long-Term Tip

Resist the urge to quit your job to care for an aging parent--even if it feels like most of your paycheck is covering the cost of a home health aide. "There are so many added benefits to working--your health insurance, your employer's 401K contribution--that it can be very expensive to step away," says Kathy Murphy, president of personal investing at Fidelity Investments. She recommends that new caretakers consider other options, such as a short-term sabbatical or going part-time, instead of quitting.

Whether or not you're working, you shouldn't shoulder the cost of caregiving alone. Though daughters are more likely to provide hands-on support than their brothers, all siblings should sit down and discuss who will pay for what. Chatsky suggests dividing recurring bills so someone is in charge of each on rather than trying to split total monthly expenses. The AARP Foundation can connect you with government programs to help aging adults with everything from medical expenses to energy bills.

Future You: Suddenly Single

Women outlive men by nearly five years on average in the U.S., and late-life splits have spiked in recent decades.

Mind Your Money

The time to become actively involved in your finances is now. "If you don't know what's going on financially, having to step in when you're under the stress of divorce or the death of a spouse is really, really tough," says Chatsky.

Sit down together for a financial checkup: How much does your partner make (10% of people get this number wrong by $25,000 or more!), how much do you have in savings and retirement, where is the money invested, and what are the log-in credentials for all the financial accounts? Then, if you don't already have them, think about opening up your own bank account, credit card, and retirement savings. "This forces you to keep an active hand in managing your money--and it means you can save more for retirement," says Chatsky.

Long-Term Tip

Whatever circumstances leave you single, financial experts agree that the smartest money move you can make in the immediate aftermath is this: Do nothing. Don't sell the house. Don't invest the inheritance. Don't quit your job. "Try not to make any major decisions for at least a couple of months--ideally a year," says Michelle Singletary, personal finance columnist and author of The 21-Day Financial Fast. Reorienting to a new reality takes time, and rushing may mean you make decisions you (or your wallet) will regret. Singletary suggests reaching out to a budget counselor from debtadvice.org and whomever you turn to for emotional support: "When everything's a mess, coming up with the  new budget is pretty straightforward. It's dealing with the sadness, the loss, and the resentment that makes it hard to adjust and stick to the new plan."

Future You: Time to Downsize

Just 25% of pre-retirees in their 50s feel financially prepared to fund a retirement that lasts even 10 years.

"Many people think retirement is something that's going to happen far off in the future," says Singletary. "But health problems, reorgs, or layoffs could all result in job loss--and you're not guaranteed to get a new job or one that pays as well." While more than half of workers say they expect to still be working after they turn 65, less than 15% of today's retirees actually managed to keep working that long.

Mind Your Money

"Too many women are good savers but have no confidence investing," says Murphy. "But if you're just putting money in a savings account, you're actually losing money," she says, because of inflation. Instead, take a closer look at your 401K or IRA. How is your money invested? Does that level of risk tolerance still make sense? Could you bump up your contributions in case you have to leave the workforce five or 10 years earlier than expected? Running those numbers can be hugely motivating, she says.

Long-Term Tip

If you do leave work early, "keep looking for that new job, but reduce your spending right away," says Singletary. Also, Chatsky points out that more people in their 50s and 60s are padding their wallets by driving for Lyft or renting out a spare room through Airbnb.

Extra money aside, you may still need to consider moving to a smaller house to save on mortgage and maintenance, tapping into the equity of your current home, or even taking Social Security earlier than expected. "When our plans change, it can be very stressful to try something unfamiliar," says Chatsky. "But you want to make sure you have the right information and tools to make a rational decision." Your 97-year-old self will thank you.

What to Do With an Inheritance
Financial expert Jean Chatsky's steps for managing a windfall

1. Spend a little

Go ahead and let yourself splurge with 10% of the money. "You could take a trip to honor your loved one or buy a special piece of jewelry in remembrance," says Chatsky.

2. Pay off debt

The bulk of the money should go toward paying off high-interest debt (like credit card), then into a bank account until you've saved six months of living expenses.

3. Invest the rest

With any extra cash, max out your retirement savings before you pay off your mortgage. "Homes tend to be cheap debt," say Chatsky. "But if you invest the money--especially if you get a company match--you could end up with a healthy nest egg."