Question: After playing just tree trumpet lessons, my son wants to quit--but playing an instrument is such a good thing. Do I push him to stick with it?
Answer:
While it's true that learning an instrument is good for brain development and can help kids do well in school, they only get the benefits if they're engaged and willing participants.
Some kids need a little push to stay the course, then they get in the groove of playing music; others are just not interested. Tell your son he has to continue the lessons for a set time. To help decide whether he should quit after that, get some intel about why he wants to stop. A good start: Ask what he doesn't like about the trumpet. Is he frustrated because he doesn't think he's good? If so, you can talk about having fun instead of trying to be the best. If he's bored, maybe he can choose the songs he learns, switch teachers, or even try another instrument.. Once the time is up and you've tried to make it enjoyable, if your son still isn't into it, discuss next steps and possible replacement activities..
When deciding whether to let a child stop an activity, think about the "why"--on your end and his. If he truly doesn't want to continue, then there's no real upside to forcing him. Also consider: Are your interests or his at play? Were you hoping music would become your child's career? Extracurriculars are a beneficial part of a child's education; my strategy is to let kids choose one or two themselves. If the activities change, that's OK--trying different things helps kids find their true passions. We want to give kids every advantage, but we have to balance our own desires with theirs.
Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD
Monday, May 23, 2016
The Good Kid Project: Making the Grade via Better Homes and Gardens
Question: My child is having troubles in school, but is so frustrated that she doesn't want to study. How can I help?
Answer:
While it can certainly be difficult to watch your child struggle, this is also a great chance to nurture important life skills, such as perseverance and stress management. Resist the urge to hire a tutor right away, and brainstorm with your child how she can navigate the situation and improve. Because she's already frustrated, take an empathetic approach: Talk about how hard it is to struggle in a particular subject (maybe you have a similar experience to share) and how it's not an all-or-nothing deal. Just because a certain subject isn't coming easily--or even if she gets a failing grade--that doesn't mean she's a failure. The goal isn't just to get a better grade, but to help her learn to problem-solve.
Reframe the situation as a puzzle she can figure out.
The next step is to discuss how she can budget her time and energy to put in the extra work. Talk to the teacher for pointers to support and guide your child's efforts. For example, when it comes to homework, it might be best to tackle the difficult subject first, when her focus is fresh. Or she could try exercising or listening to music to relax before she jumps into her studies.
A tutor should come into play only after you've tried your own plan for a set time, which you can discuss with the teacher. Defaulting to outside help sends your child the message that she can't do this on her own, when she might very well be able to. Working through a setback will give her the confidence to take on other challenges that come her way.
Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD
Answer:
While it can certainly be difficult to watch your child struggle, this is also a great chance to nurture important life skills, such as perseverance and stress management. Resist the urge to hire a tutor right away, and brainstorm with your child how she can navigate the situation and improve. Because she's already frustrated, take an empathetic approach: Talk about how hard it is to struggle in a particular subject (maybe you have a similar experience to share) and how it's not an all-or-nothing deal. Just because a certain subject isn't coming easily--or even if she gets a failing grade--that doesn't mean she's a failure. The goal isn't just to get a better grade, but to help her learn to problem-solve.
Reframe the situation as a puzzle she can figure out.
The next step is to discuss how she can budget her time and energy to put in the extra work. Talk to the teacher for pointers to support and guide your child's efforts. For example, when it comes to homework, it might be best to tackle the difficult subject first, when her focus is fresh. Or she could try exercising or listening to music to relax before she jumps into her studies.
A tutor should come into play only after you've tried your own plan for a set time, which you can discuss with the teacher. Defaulting to outside help sends your child the message that she can't do this on her own, when she might very well be able to. Working through a setback will give her the confidence to take on other challenges that come her way.
Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD
Ten Best Beaches via Better Homes and Gardens
1. South Padre Island, Texas
Padre has miles of open sand for walking, horseback riding, and, of course, swimming. They city calls itself the Sandcastle Capital of the World, and when you see the creations on display, you'll understand. You can even take lessons, bucket not required.
2. Cannon Beach, Oregon
Walk the scenic oceanfront and marvel at 235-foot Haystack Rock. Do a little horseback riding on the beach, then head to town for culture at the art galleries and community theater. If you have pets in tow, try Surfsand Resort, where rooms come with doggie welcome baskets and pet beds. A kids' club looks after your two-legged companions as well.
3. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
The ocean is just the sip of the sand dune at Myrtle Beach, which boasts nearly 100 golf courses (and close to as many mini golf greens), live entertainment, and family-friendly boardwalk. At Brookgreen Gardens you can observe local wildlife like alligators and osprey from a pontoon boat, then roam the sculpture garden.
4. Avila Beach, California
Don't miss Friday nights, when this laidback beach town bustles with a farmers and fish market, sack races, and volleyball. For a change from a beach motel, try Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort, with hillside hot tubs and easy access to a hiking trail that leads to the beach.
5. Gulf Shores and Orange Beach, Alabama
With fishing, nature trails, bird-watching, and Gulf views from the Hummingbird zip line at Gulf State Park, there's no lack of activities. But don't get so busy that you forget to take in the sugar-white sand and turquoise water.
6. Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
This 3-mile stretch of New England shoreline offers relaxing family fun with a boardwalk and parasailing. Learn more about marine wildlife at the Blue Ocean Discovery Center, then head over to the pier to catch a classic New England fishing charter or whale-watching excursion.
7. Sleeping Bear Dunes, Michigan
At this national park on Lake Michigan, you'll find 65 miles of shoreline where families can swim, bike, and race down the dunes--which tower higher than a 40-story building. Spend time at the Coast Guard Station Maritime Museum, then take a 20-minute ferry ride to explore the shipwrecks of South Manitou Island.
8. Duck, North Carolina
This tiny Outer Banks town is a true getaway: With few commercial distractions, your family can while away the days boogie-boarding, shell-collecting, and kite-flying. Take a beach stroll; you'll probably catch a glimpse of wild horses.
9. The Wildwoods, New Jersey
From 1950's mod-style hotels to boardwalk custard stands and amusement arcades, this classic Jersey shore town packs a lot into its 5 miles. Take the kids crabbing and show them your skee-ball prowess, then dance the night away at an evening concert.
10. Delray Beach, Florida
For the kids: 2 miles of wide-open sand and an oceanfront playground. For you walkable Atlantic Avenue with galleries, shops, and restaurants. Base your trip at the historic Colony Hotel and Cabana Club, which offers old Florida charm and access to their private beach club and saltwater pool.
Padre has miles of open sand for walking, horseback riding, and, of course, swimming. They city calls itself the Sandcastle Capital of the World, and when you see the creations on display, you'll understand. You can even take lessons, bucket not required.
2. Cannon Beach, Oregon
Walk the scenic oceanfront and marvel at 235-foot Haystack Rock. Do a little horseback riding on the beach, then head to town for culture at the art galleries and community theater. If you have pets in tow, try Surfsand Resort, where rooms come with doggie welcome baskets and pet beds. A kids' club looks after your two-legged companions as well.
3. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
The ocean is just the sip of the sand dune at Myrtle Beach, which boasts nearly 100 golf courses (and close to as many mini golf greens), live entertainment, and family-friendly boardwalk. At Brookgreen Gardens you can observe local wildlife like alligators and osprey from a pontoon boat, then roam the sculpture garden.
4. Avila Beach, California
Don't miss Friday nights, when this laidback beach town bustles with a farmers and fish market, sack races, and volleyball. For a change from a beach motel, try Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort, with hillside hot tubs and easy access to a hiking trail that leads to the beach.
5. Gulf Shores and Orange Beach, Alabama
With fishing, nature trails, bird-watching, and Gulf views from the Hummingbird zip line at Gulf State Park, there's no lack of activities. But don't get so busy that you forget to take in the sugar-white sand and turquoise water.
6. Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
This 3-mile stretch of New England shoreline offers relaxing family fun with a boardwalk and parasailing. Learn more about marine wildlife at the Blue Ocean Discovery Center, then head over to the pier to catch a classic New England fishing charter or whale-watching excursion.
7. Sleeping Bear Dunes, Michigan
At this national park on Lake Michigan, you'll find 65 miles of shoreline where families can swim, bike, and race down the dunes--which tower higher than a 40-story building. Spend time at the Coast Guard Station Maritime Museum, then take a 20-minute ferry ride to explore the shipwrecks of South Manitou Island.
8. Duck, North Carolina
This tiny Outer Banks town is a true getaway: With few commercial distractions, your family can while away the days boogie-boarding, shell-collecting, and kite-flying. Take a beach stroll; you'll probably catch a glimpse of wild horses.
9. The Wildwoods, New Jersey
From 1950's mod-style hotels to boardwalk custard stands and amusement arcades, this classic Jersey shore town packs a lot into its 5 miles. Take the kids crabbing and show them your skee-ball prowess, then dance the night away at an evening concert.
10. Delray Beach, Florida
For the kids: 2 miles of wide-open sand and an oceanfront playground. For you walkable Atlantic Avenue with galleries, shops, and restaurants. Base your trip at the historic Colony Hotel and Cabana Club, which offers old Florida charm and access to their private beach club and saltwater pool.
Ten Best National Parks via Better Homes and Gardens
1. Canyon de Chelly, Arizona
Navajo legends come to life in a red rock canyon that you can explore in a four-wheel drive vehicle with a Native American guide. Look for ancient cliff dwellings, rock paintings, and Spider Rock, an 800-foot sacred sandstone tower. Back at the park's hotel, try local fare like fry bread tacos and blue corn pancakes.
2. Isle Royale, Michigan
The adventure starts with your ferry or seaplane trip out to these islands in the northwest corner of Lake Superior. Once there, you'll find 165 miles of hiking trails and boating routes; catch your winks by camping or staying at the park lodge or cabins.
3. Great Basin, Nevada
A mountain peak topping 12,000 feet and a cave tour revealing rare marble formations are the highlights of this park near the Nevada-Utah border. Another can't miss: breathtakingly clear night sky views of planets and the Milky Way.
4. North Cascades, Washington
Accessible by car or ferry, this gem (120 miles from Seattle) offers views of 300+ glaciers--more than in Glacier National Park. Even while hiking, you can't help but relax surrounded by waterfalls and alpine meadows. Kids (ages 3 and up) can complete the Junior Ranger program.
5. Badlands, South Dakota
Prehistoric animals once roamed this otherworldly landscape of soaring pinnacles and twisting valleys, a few years ago a 7-year-old found a quarry of saber-toothed tiger skulls. Now the park is home to bison and prairie dogs.
6. Cuyahoga Valley, Ohio
Hike or bike along the historic path of the Ohio & Erie Canal and catch a glimpse of beavers, bald eagles, and great blue herons. Do a little family fishing at the catch-and-release ponds and rivers, then get the whole crew involved in EarthCaching, a treasure hunt using the GPS on your smartphone.
7. Redwood, California
Surf and turf are on offer in this remote Northern California spot: Beachcomb on 40 miles of oceanfront, then head inland to see the world's largest trees as well as herds of majestic Roosevelt elk, which nearly went extinct last century.
8. Zion, Utah
It's easy to drink in the scenery of this red rock canyon while hiking or on horseback. The more athletic and adventurous (minus young kids) can try the Narrows canyon, where you make your way though the Virgin River, or Angel's Landing trail, which runs along a narrow rock, leading to a pinnacle that juts out over the park.
9. Congaree, South Carolina
This Southern, sometimes swampy, home to herons and otters is easily observed from a boardwalk trail stretching more than 2 miles. Or head deeper into the wilderness on a ranger-led canoe tour; you might have an alligator sighting.
10. Great Sand Dunes and Preserve, Colorado
The amazing 75-story dunes (which accumulated over the past 444,000 years) are more than just a sight to see. Rent a sand board or sled to ride the hills, or stage a family footrace down the ever-shifting drifts. Afterward, take a 10-minute drive to Zapata Falls and rinse the dust off.
Navajo legends come to life in a red rock canyon that you can explore in a four-wheel drive vehicle with a Native American guide. Look for ancient cliff dwellings, rock paintings, and Spider Rock, an 800-foot sacred sandstone tower. Back at the park's hotel, try local fare like fry bread tacos and blue corn pancakes.
2. Isle Royale, Michigan
The adventure starts with your ferry or seaplane trip out to these islands in the northwest corner of Lake Superior. Once there, you'll find 165 miles of hiking trails and boating routes; catch your winks by camping or staying at the park lodge or cabins.
3. Great Basin, Nevada
A mountain peak topping 12,000 feet and a cave tour revealing rare marble formations are the highlights of this park near the Nevada-Utah border. Another can't miss: breathtakingly clear night sky views of planets and the Milky Way.
4. North Cascades, Washington
Accessible by car or ferry, this gem (120 miles from Seattle) offers views of 300+ glaciers--more than in Glacier National Park. Even while hiking, you can't help but relax surrounded by waterfalls and alpine meadows. Kids (ages 3 and up) can complete the Junior Ranger program.
5. Badlands, South Dakota
Prehistoric animals once roamed this otherworldly landscape of soaring pinnacles and twisting valleys, a few years ago a 7-year-old found a quarry of saber-toothed tiger skulls. Now the park is home to bison and prairie dogs.
6. Cuyahoga Valley, Ohio
Hike or bike along the historic path of the Ohio & Erie Canal and catch a glimpse of beavers, bald eagles, and great blue herons. Do a little family fishing at the catch-and-release ponds and rivers, then get the whole crew involved in EarthCaching, a treasure hunt using the GPS on your smartphone.
7. Redwood, California
Surf and turf are on offer in this remote Northern California spot: Beachcomb on 40 miles of oceanfront, then head inland to see the world's largest trees as well as herds of majestic Roosevelt elk, which nearly went extinct last century.
8. Zion, Utah
It's easy to drink in the scenery of this red rock canyon while hiking or on horseback. The more athletic and adventurous (minus young kids) can try the Narrows canyon, where you make your way though the Virgin River, or Angel's Landing trail, which runs along a narrow rock, leading to a pinnacle that juts out over the park.
9. Congaree, South Carolina
This Southern, sometimes swampy, home to herons and otters is easily observed from a boardwalk trail stretching more than 2 miles. Or head deeper into the wilderness on a ranger-led canoe tour; you might have an alligator sighting.
10. Great Sand Dunes and Preserve, Colorado
The amazing 75-story dunes (which accumulated over the past 444,000 years) are more than just a sight to see. Rent a sand board or sled to ride the hills, or stage a family footrace down the ever-shifting drifts. Afterward, take a 10-minute drive to Zapata Falls and rinse the dust off.
Housekeeping Quotes and Tips
"Be intentional and thoughtful with every furniture and décor choice. In a small space, everything should have a purpose and be functional or meaningful to you." - Betsy Bracken, via Better Homes and Gardens
A trick for keeping space open in a small living room is to use objects that don't obstruct sight lines, such as Lucite or wire mesh coffee tables. (via Better Homes and Gardens)
Rounded furniture is preferable in small spaces because it enables you to move around better, rather than bumping into corners. (via Better Homes and Gardens)
A trick for keeping space open in a small living room is to use objects that don't obstruct sight lines, such as Lucite or wire mesh coffee tables. (via Better Homes and Gardens)
Rounded furniture is preferable in small spaces because it enables you to move around better, rather than bumping into corners. (via Better Homes and Gardens)
How to Be a Morning Person via Better Homes and Gardens
- Stop slapping snooze - The extra sleep you get is disjointed and not deep enough, anyway.
- Catch some early rays - Light stimulates your brain and suppresses the production of melatonin. Turning on a lamp or heading to a window after you wake up can help you feel less sleepy.
- Don't check email right away - Waking up and worrying about other people's issues right away puts you in a reactive state of mind.
- Drink water ASAP - The longer you wait before you hydrate makes you more prone to grogginess, fatigue, and general brain fog for your day.
- Stretch before your feet touch the ground - Deep breathing sends oxygen to your brain and other organs, prepping them for the day. Lie on your back, bring your knees to your chest, and inhale as you move your knees away from you. Exhale as you bring them back.
- Breakfast fuel - Having protein with breakfast is the healthiest way to start your day. Yogurt and peanut butter are you best options.
- Streamline your mornings - Ritualize your day by picking a few outfits to wear on rotation and a few standard breakfasts to cut down on energy wasted on small decisions. Set an alarm for 15 minutes before you need to leave the door to help you spend your time wisely. And don't do all your morning prep the night before, making you want to stay up later for me time, just get to bed on time and tackle the rest in the morning.
- Start your day with good vibes - Skip the morning news, which is depressing. Watch a happy video. Listen to music, gentle to help you wake up, then upbeat to help you get going. Take a moment of mindfulness while you are in the shower to meditate.
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