Monday, May 23, 2016

The Good Kid Project: Extracurricular Choices via Better Homes and Gardens

Question: After playing just tree trumpet lessons, my son wants to quit--but playing an instrument is such a good thing. Do I push him to stick with it?


Answer:
While it's true that learning an instrument is good for brain development and can help kids do well in school, they only get the benefits if they're engaged and willing participants.


Some kids need a little push to stay the course, then they get in the groove of playing music; others are just not interested. Tell your son he has to continue the lessons for a set time. To help decide whether he should quit after that, get some intel about why he wants to stop. A good start: Ask what he doesn't like about the trumpet. Is he frustrated because he doesn't think he's good? If so, you can talk about having fun instead of trying to be the best. If he's bored, maybe he can choose the songs he learns, switch teachers, or even try another instrument.. Once the time is up and you've tried to make it enjoyable, if your son still isn't into it, discuss next steps and possible replacement activities..


When deciding whether to let a child stop an activity, think about the "why"--on your end and his. If he truly doesn't want to continue, then there's no real upside to forcing him. Also consider: Are your interests or his at play? Were you hoping music would become your child's career? Extracurriculars are a beneficial part of a child's education; my strategy is to let kids choose one or two themselves. If the activities change, that's OK--trying different things helps kids find their true passions. We want to give kids every advantage, but we have to balance our own desires with theirs.


Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD

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