The Good Kid Project: Taking Responsibility via Better Homes and Gardens

Question:
My son's room is always a mess. How can I get him to be more responsible with his stuff?


Answer:
It might be tempting to throw your hands up at the messiness, but helping kids develop--and stick to--the habit of being organized is beneficial on many levels. Clutter can cause stress, so having a tidy room can increase productivity and help with academics; he'll be better able to find and focus on his homework. When you're setting guidelines, talk about these bigger-picture benefits: The responsibility he takes over his room will help him now at school, in the long run at work, and in life overall.


Start by letting your child know exactly what you expect. Clean to you might mean "all the clothes in the closet or hamper," but to him it might simply mean "everything off the floor." Most kids won't keep things 100% orderly, so consider what's necessary versus what would be nice. You could set the minimum standard, then shut his door if that drives you crazy.


Once guidelines are clear, set a time frame--perhaps  that all clothes are put away by the time he goes to bed. And establish meaningful consequences. One good strategy: allowing screen time only after his room is clean. If he falls short, stick to the consequences, as that's the only way your child will take your standards seriously.