The Good Kid Project: Perspective via Better Homes and Gardens

During the tween and teen years, kids tend to be very "me"-focused, and this is completely normal. They're consumed with their own behavior and appearance, and they have a heightened sense of self-consciousness that can narrow their view of the world. Even so, there's a lot you can do to broaden their outlook.

Discuss Disappointments

Whether it's not making the team or getting a bad grade, setbacks can feel catastrophic. Rather than trying to minimize the situation, help your child analyze what happened, which will ultimately lead him to realize more opportunities will come down the road. Coach him by asking question like, "What can you do when things don't go your way?" and "How can you use this experience to help you grow?" And while you don't want to be accusatory or punitive, asking, "What could be some of the reasons this happened?" can help your child feel more in control. Prompting him to come up with the answers will develop his own perspective, as well as coping skills that he can draw on throughout life.

Spend Time Outside Your Circle

Encouraging children to interact with people from different cultures and vantage points is key to widening their frame of reference. Nurture relationships with relatives from various backgrounds, and have them share their stories with your children. You could also reach out to a cousin in the same age range who lives in a different town, or ask your child's school if it works with vetted organizations that can facilitate a pen-pal exchange. Let these experiences be jumping-off points for open conversations. The goal is to expose your child to people of various backgrounds so he can note how they might be different--but also similar.

Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD.

Family Bucket List via Real Simple

1. Volunteer together: Take a cue from your child's interests. If your child likes dogs, volunteer at an animal shelter. To search by interest, go to generationon.org for volunteering opportunities near you.

2. Watch all your old home movies

3. Kick the can: Games that put everyone on a level playing field, such as boccie ball, croquet, capture the flag, and kick the can. These games are customizable to age and ability. For more, go to bluearth.org.

4. Make a time capsule: Include the big stuff (artwork, school reports, notes to future selves) and the little (movie stubs, a printout of a Facebook page, a toy with its batteries removed so they don't corrode). Don't include technology that won't stand the test of time, and make sure to include a silica-gel packet. Store them in an archival box, and keep the box in a cool place. Don't bury it; everything will be soggy.

5. Plant something: Surefire plants such as zucchini, cherry tomatoes, and bush beans are the best options. Use a one-by-two foot self-watering planter, and let your cofarmer handle the watering and harvesting. You may pull out more of your fair share of weeds, but it may convince your children to eat a vegetable.

6. Run (or walk) a 5K

7. Get cooking: Teach your kids an old family recipe. Kneading dough is a great activity for kids who love Play-Doh.

8. Go to the movies and see a double feature

9. Create self-portraits: Insights into how your child views themselves. Preserve the results for future posterity.

10. Take a trip with just one child; no siblings allowed

11. Go camping

12. Explore your family tree: Turning genealogy into a game of detective can help them get excited about family history. They can make a cardstock tree or ancestor trading cards.

13. Visit the places where Mom and Dad grew up

14. Start a family book club: Choose stories that appeal to all ages, such as Roald Dahl. Even better if there is a movie version that you can watch when you are finished.

15. Go on a scavenger hunt: Clues that are open to interpretation are more fun for them and less competitive.

16. Make up a song

17. Take a stay-cation: Get day-trip ideas from your local tourism bureau, and take a break from responsibilities and chores.

18. Save up money and do something special with it

19. Build something: Step by step instructions from websites like builtbykids.com can help guide you. Keep the projects age appropriate, and be flexible with material choices.

20. Spend the weekend unplugged from TV's, computers, phones, and gaming devices.

21. Build a fort

Dinnertime Rules for Cooperative Eating via Real Simple

1. Say "thank you" before each meal and mention something nice that happened that day.
2. Try three bites before saying you don't like something.
3. Choose your own portions, within reason.
4. Once a week, kids plan the menu, giving them control over the meal.
5. Have the kids eat peas and carrots first.

Growing Lessons (Guidelines for Diet, Sleep, and Exercise) via Real Simple

1. Dehydration

Young children may not ask for a drink until they are very thirsty, which means they are already beginning to dehydrate. Make sure to offer water throughout the day. Symptoms of dehydration include light-headedness, nausea, and weakness. Younger children should drink about 32 oz. of water daily and older children should drink about twice as much.

2. Physical activity

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend that kids and adolescents get at least 60 minutes of age-appropriate exercise daily. Playing outside, as opposed to concentrating on screens, can help decrease nearsightedness in children. Overtraining can be an issue in older kids that are participating in year-round sports. Fatigue, trouble sleeping, and a lack of motivation can be warning signs.

3. Diet

Very young children need more fat and calcium than adults do. Giving kids a variety of foods is the best way to insure they are getting the nutrients they need. Dairy and leafy greens are the best sources of calcium, and avocados, olive oil, and nuts are the best sources for fats.

4. Environmental toxins

Continued exposure to household chemicals and pollutants is especially bad for children. Issues like allergies and asthma are more prevalent in children who have greater exposure. Opt for non-toxic cleaners without harsh ingredients. Open windows whenever possible, not just when you are scrubbing the bathroom. Keeping your kids out of hair salons as much as possible is also helpful.

5. Sleep

Toddlers require about 12 to 14 hours a day (including naps), and kids ages 5 to 12 need 10 to 11. Don't sacrifice your toddler's naptime to run errands. Some questions to consider to reveal if your child is getting enough sleep:

    Does your child wake every morning at her regular time without your help?
    Is she alert throughout the day and in (relatively) good spirits?

Additionally, screen time before bed suppressed melatonin production in the brain and can't hurt your child's sleep.

How to Afford Collge for Your Children via Real Simple

Newborn to age 7:

    Once your emergency fund and long-term finances are on track, the best place to start saving for college is a state-sponsored 529 plan, a type of investment fund that allows your earnings to grow, tax-free, as long as you ultimately apply the money toward higher-education costs. What's more, your state may offer additional tax breaks, like a full or partial state-income-tax deduction on contributions. You can invest in any state's plan; fees and plan specifics (such as investment options and additional benefits) vary greatly. To compare, go to savingforcollege.com. Worth mentioning: Be sure to open a 529 account naming you (not your child) as the owner to minimize the impact on her financial aid eligibility and to make sure the funds are used according to your intentions.
    Of course, every parent wonders how much to save. And with years to go before college starts, there is really no way to know the amount that you will need. However, you can get a rough idea of how much you should stash away annually by using the college-savings calculator at finra.org. When making your allocations, put around 80% of your portfolio in riskier investments, like stocks, since you have more than 10 year before you will need the money. Then invest the remaining 20% in more conservative bonds.

Ages 8 to 14:

    No need to panic; there's still time to put aside cash. Try to set a minimum amount to save each month and stick to it, even if it's just $50. (If college is a decade away, you will have saved at least $6,000 by the first day of school.) And remember: any savings is better than none at all. Keep your portfolio only moderately risky, with about 25% invested in stocks and the rest in bonds.
    Now is also the time to start thinking about the major money decisions that you might be facing in the upcoming years. When awarding financial aid, universities calculate the family's annual finances starting on January 1 of the student's junior year in high school. So if you plan to withdraw money from a retirement account, sell a rental property, or sell a lot of stocks that would net capital gains, consider doing it soon so your profits will not factor into your child's aid eligibility.

Ages 15 and up:

    It's not too late to put money into a 529 plan if you can: invest 70% in bonds and 30% in cash. No extra cash? Don't divert money form your retirement account to your child's college fund. Your child can apply for aid, but there is no similar relief for retirees.
    Instead, devote your energy to seeking out financial aid opportunities. You won't be alone: two-thirds of students receive some assistance, according to the U.S. Department of Education. Be sure to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (fafsa.ed.gov), which makes your child eligible for hundreds of federal and state need-based grants and loans. This is also used by most schools to determine aid packages. Be prepared to fill out additional applications for some schools. It's also worth calling the financial aid office at each college and asking about specific merit-based scholarships (for athletics, academics, and the arts). Look for additional scholarships that are not specific to one school at bigfuture.org or scholarships.com.
    If your child has already been accepted to a university and you have applied for assistance but received less than expected or were denied, call the school's financial aid office and ask for a reassessment. The amount of aid could increase if your situation has changed (say, you lost your job) or if you have a costly burden that is not easy to explain in a form, such as caring for an elderly parent. Say, "Recently, my financial situation changed. Here's what's happened," and present your case. Also mention if you've been offered a better aid package from a rival school. If your child is viewed as "highly desirable," the school may pony up more assistance.

10 Ways to Get Great Photos of Your Kids via Real Simple

Turn off your flash

The pros think most point-and-shoot flashes are lousy. Turn it off and pump up the ISO setting (the amount of light the lens allows in). Set it between 1,600 and 3,200; play around to see what works best in your environment.

Stuck inside? Get to a window

You'll get your best shots outside. But, if you're indoors, try to situate everyone next to a window for a soft, natural light. Beware of lamps: They often create yellow "hot spots" in photos.

"Yes" is the new "cheese"

It's more of a natural word for kids to shout, and it's a surefire way to get big smiles.

Embrace the chaos

Capture the unfiltered moments. They'll be better reminders of this time in your life than a perfectly styled portrait. The most compelling photos usually have an element of unvarnished truth-even if that means a cranky, crying, pantsless three-year-old. (That image will make everyone smile one day.)

Fill up the frame

Resist the urge to put that little face in the exact center, leaving an empty expanse above it. Let your child fill the frame so the focus stays on him.

Photograph them doing what they love to do

Or eating what they love to eat. Toy trucks and mac and cheese can be the greatest photo props ever.

The sun is your enemy

Unless you want to see a bunch of squinty eyes, head for shade. Cloudy days are actually the best; the filtered light makes everyone look good. A bright sun is never flattering.

Turn them to face the light

If may sound counterintuitive, but if you're going to take a photo in the full sun, have your kids try to face it. Try to keep the sun over one of your shoulders. This position will cast light across your subjects; faces in a more pleasing way.

Take inspiration from old photos

Think of memorable shots from your own childhood. You know that beloved one of you and your siblings at the lake? Re-create the moment with your own kids and frame the two side by side on a shelf.

Quit zooming

Move in closer, getting down to the kid's eye level. Your photos will feel more intimate.

The Dirty Dozen (Spot-Removal Techniques) via Real Simple

To take the usual stain suspects out of carpets and upholstery, these are the best homemade solutions (apply each with a towel).

1. Yard Dirt

Let dry, then vacuum up loose particles. Next, apply 1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water. Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. Repeat until the stain is gone. Or try Shaw R2X Carpet Stain & Soil Remover.

2. Snow and Salt

The calcium chloride in salty melted ice is alkaline and can leave a brownish stain. First, vacuum up what you can. Next; neutralize with a vinegar solution (1 part white vinegar, 1 part water). Blot with a towel from the edge of the stain inward. Follow with a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water), then remove with a damp towel.

3. Pee

Soak up wetness with a towel. Apply a solution of 1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water. Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution with a damp towel. When the stain is gone, apply a vinegar solution (1 part vinegar, 1 part water). Blot with the damp towel. For odors, also try SSS Bio-Enzymatic Spotter.

4. Blood

Apply a solution of cold water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water). Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution (1 tablespoon clear household formula plus 1 cup water)with a damp towel. Then use peroxide solution (1/2 cup hydrogen peroxide plus 1 teaspoon household ammonia). Let stand for a few hours. Repeat if necessary. When the stain is gone, blot on a vinegar solution (1 part white vinegar, 1 part water). Follow with a damp towel.

5. Vomit

Apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water); blot, don't rub. Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. Repeat if necessary. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution (1 tablespoon clear household formula with 1 cup water) with a damp towel.

6. Poop

Apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water). Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. Repeat. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution (1 tablespoon clear household fomula with 1 cup water) with a warm, damp towel. Or try the two-art Guardsmen Fabric First Aid Stain Remover system. Level 1 is a cleaner, Level 2 is a solvent.

7. Milk

Soak up as much wetness as possible with a towel. Then apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water). Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. Repeat if necessary. Or try Shaw R2X Carpet Stain & Soil Remover.

8. Tomato Sauce

Scrape off dried sauce, then apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water). Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution (1 tablespoon clear household formula plus 1 cup water) with a warm, damp towel.

9. Food Grease

First try Guardsmen Fabric First Aid Stain Remover Level 1 cleaner (see #6). Apply sparingly to a cloth (not directly to the stain) and work in. If the stain persists, apply Level 2 solvent. Follow with a damp towel, blot excess moisture. Or try Shaw R2X Carpet Stain & Soil Remover.

10. Juice or Berries

Scrap up any solids, then apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water). Remove soap residue with damp towel; blot. If the stain persists, blot on an ammonia solution with a warm, damp towel.

11. Marker or Sharpie

First try Guardsmen Fabric First Aid Stain Remover Level 1 cleaner (see #6); apply sparingly to a cloth (not the stain) and work in. If the stain persists, apply level 2 solvent. Follow with a damp towel; blot excess moisture. For walls, use dish soap and wet soft, non-cellulose sponge, which shouldn't harm paint.

12. Ground-in Crayon

Apply a solution of warm water and dish soap (1/4 tsp. nonbleach Dawn, Joy, or clear Ivory dish soap plus 1 cup water), using a wet sponge. Blot from the outside of the stain to the center; reapply as necessary. Remove soap residue with a damp towel; blot. For serious cases, you can also try the Guardsmen Fabric First Aid Stain Remover system (see #6).