The Good Kid Project: Perspective via Better Homes and Gardens

During the tween and teen years, kids tend to be very "me"-focused, and this is completely normal. They're consumed with their own behavior and appearance, and they have a heightened sense of self-consciousness that can narrow their view of the world. Even so, there's a lot you can do to broaden their outlook.

Discuss Disappointments

Whether it's not making the team or getting a bad grade, setbacks can feel catastrophic. Rather than trying to minimize the situation, help your child analyze what happened, which will ultimately lead him to realize more opportunities will come down the road. Coach him by asking question like, "What can you do when things don't go your way?" and "How can you use this experience to help you grow?" And while you don't want to be accusatory or punitive, asking, "What could be some of the reasons this happened?" can help your child feel more in control. Prompting him to come up with the answers will develop his own perspective, as well as coping skills that he can draw on throughout life.

Spend Time Outside Your Circle

Encouraging children to interact with people from different cultures and vantage points is key to widening their frame of reference. Nurture relationships with relatives from various backgrounds, and have them share their stories with your children. You could also reach out to a cousin in the same age range who lives in a different town, or ask your child's school if it works with vetted organizations that can facilitate a pen-pal exchange. Let these experiences be jumping-off points for open conversations. The goal is to expose your child to people of various backgrounds so he can note how they might be different--but also similar.

Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD.