Leap of Faith via Women's Day

One summer, I got out of my middle-aged rut by acting like a kid again.

By Kerry Egan

"Just jump!" a chorus of children yelled from the base of the diving board. I bounced up and down with my back to the pool. Then I nodded at them and took a few deep breaths. I bounced some more and threw my legs into the air. The world went topsy-turvy, and my feet hit the water. At the age of 43 and after weeks of trying, I'd finally done a backflip.

Facing My Fears
When was the last time you learned how to do something that scared you? For me, it was the backflip. Before that, I don't remember. Avoiding challenges just seemed to creep up on me without my noticing as I got older. Part of it was fear, to be honest, and part was complacency and the busy-ness of live in middle age.

As I practiced the backflip, the kids seemed to take it for granted that I would do belly flops or land hard on om back. And they freely commented on my failures. "Looked like that hurt." "You need to get higher." "It's like you just freaked out in the middle of the air." "That was so bad." The teenage boys laughed at me like hyenas. Of course, they laughed at one another like hyenas, too.

But they weren't being mean. They didn't seem to be implying that I should be embarrassed or stop trying. They offered tips and would answer my questions as they waited to do their own crazy spins and giant cannonballs. There was something strangely liberating in the tacit understanding that I was terribly right now, but I'd get better.

The adults never acknowledged my attempts until I actually did the backflip. "That was so great!" one said. "It makes me think I could do it, too," commented another."

"If I can, you can," I told them.

They smiled and shook their heads. "I don't understand how you don't care about messing up or looking bad, about people seeing you," one of them added.

It's true: Some people will judge. But while getting older might make me more afraid of hurting myself, it's done the opposite to my fear of embarrassment. It's a sweet and liberating trade-off.

The Wisdom of Age
"I always thought I'd have more time," a 104-year-old woman said every time I saw her. She was a hospice patient, and I was visiting her as a chaplain. She realized the humor in her comment, but it was the truth, she insisted. Even after more than a century on earth, she was surprised at how quickly her life had gone by, how little time it really was, when she looked back over all of it.

"I wish I'd realized just how young I was 20 years ago," she used to say.

Twenty years ago, she'd been 84.

You'll never again be as young as you are now. You'll never have as much time to overcome your fears as you do in this moment. These are cliches, but they're more accurate than we often care to admit.

So that leaves us with some decisions: Fail to try what we yearn to do, or stop caring back potential judgment. Regret that we did not learn how to fly through the air backward into cold, waiting water 20 years ago, or decide to learn now. Remain mired in the fears of our younger selves, or embrace the liberation of aging. We get to choose.

Kerry Egan is a hospice chaplain and writer. Her most recent book is On Living.

The Bargain Hunter via Better Homes and Gardens

Kate Jackson knows how to stretch her decorating dollars. Here are some of her favorite shopping spots and money-saving tips:

1. Hardware stores brim with good stuff--seriously! What to look for: cutting boards, simple glassware, door knockers, and cabinet hardware.

2. Shop consignment stores for dressers and beds that are well-made, well-designed, and dirt cheap. If it's ugly, paint it. But use good paint.

3. You don't need a whole set of expensive bedding to make a statement. Shop retail outlet stores for decorative Euro shams, then dress the rest of the bed in white. (It's classic and inexpensive).

4. Always carry your key measurements with you, so you don't waste time or money on something that won't fit.

5. Be an equal-opportunity consumer. Shop everywhere--outlet stores, estate and yard sales, eBay, online--and always negotiate.

6. What's totally splurge-worthy? Custom window treatments. "They have a huge impact on any room," Kate says.

Protect Your Hair via Allure

Hair Power

Coloring hair can cause it to become dry, dull, and brittle, but certain kinds of antioxidants may offer substantial protection. Moon-Moo Kim, a chemist affiliated with Dong-Eui University in South Korea, exposed hair samples to hydrogen peroxide or ammonia, ingredients in many permanent hair dyes (light or dark). Treating hair first with elm extract, which contains procyanidins--a flavonoid also found in cocoa, red wine, and apples--reduced surface damage and protein breakdown and increased hair strength. Procyanidins have been found to promote hair growth in cases of balding; they may also protect hair against oxidative stress from perming, sunlight, and aging, the study suggests. Elm extract is in some botanical products, such as select Nurture My Body shampoos and conditioners and Kinky-Curly Knot Today detangler.

How to Sign an Email via Allure

Too many email signatures try way too hard, with their inspirational quotes, cute photos, and lines of boilerplate. Will Schwalbe, coauthor of Send: Why People Email So Badly and How You Can Do It Better offers some common-sense guidelines.

Keep it straight

"Don't get creative with colored text, fonts, or pictures. When your email goes from one system to another, those twee touches are often delivered as attachments. The best type design is black text in Arial or Times New Roman."

Post no bills

"Skip lines like 'Please save our environment by not printing this email unless you have to.' We all get it,"

Add a "handheld" kicker

I replaced the standard message with 'Sent from a handheld, so please excuse terseness and typos.'"

How to Wear Neutrals via Allure

Sure, there are plenty of bright colors on the runways this season, but beige, camel, brown, gray, navy, and white can be worn in fresh new ways. Here's how to do it.

Mix them up

Rather than wearing on color from head to toe,, combine shades from the same family. For instance, try mixing chocolate brown with caramel and cream or navy with charcoal and black.

Choose the right accents

Accessorize with autumnal shades, such as oxblood red, ochre, forest green, or burgundy.

Use structure

In the absence of pattern and color, tailored pieces have a much bigger impact. For instance, look for wide-leg trousers, higher waists, or skirts and dresses detailed with a few pleats.

Textures

Dresses, skirts, and sweaters made with a combination of suede, leather, and wool--all in the same neutral tone--look amazing right now. Or add texture with ribbed tights, a belt, or pieces made with felted wool.

How to Buy Clothes Online via Allure

What to Buy On Sale
Stay ahead of the curve
You actually have a good chance of scoring fashion-forward pieces before they hit the mainstream. We've sold jumpsuits at markdowns for a couple seasons, but only now are they everywhere.

Keep and open mind
You might not find the quintessential Burberry trench on sale, but you can find one in a modified style or color at a discount. You'll have a staple, and it wont look like everyone else's.

Go big
Evening gowns are great to buy on sale, since they're less trend-driven and start out being expensive.

Skip the small stuff
Bags, belts, and wallets stick around from season to season and rarely go on sale.


What to Spring for at Full Price
Think long term
If you see beautiful, classic pieces--the perfect cashmere scarf in oatmeal or black; simple ankle boots or oxford shoes--get them. Those rarely show up on sale later.

Make a statement
On the flip side, I spring for that single, standout piece that will inspire the way I dress for an entire season. Recently we had a right yellow, off-the-shoulder sweater by Thakoon that flew out of the store. People went crazy for the unusual color and easy, drapey silhouette. When you see something like that, you have to act.

Track it down
The Internet is a great tool for locating that bag you love but can't find in a certain color. You'll usually see a full range of hues online, but probably at full price.


What to Buy at a Flash Sale
Be prepared
Flash sales are great for designers you love whose clothes might ordinarily be out of your price range. Check a site's calendar so you know what's coming. Use themed sales--such as "casual Fridays" or "the statement necklace"--to discover new designers, but focus on silhouettes that you know work for you.

Know yourself
Don't buy something just because it's in style or drastically reduced in price--it should always be something you'll really use. If you're the kind of person who carries your life in your bag, go for roomy, sturdy totes, not delicate clutches.

When in doubt, click
If there's an item you're debating, stick it in your cart while you mull it over. If you see something you want in someone else's cart, keep refreshing your screen in case it resurfaces.

How to Look Awake via Allure

Interview with Peter Philips, creative director for Chanel makeup

Before fashion shows, we constantly need to make tired models look fresh and awake in very little time. The answer is not to pile on makeup--it's no use little tricks to bring color back to the skin and brighten the features.

• Take a moment: First, I like to massage cream on the models. It's a great base for makeup, and it relaxes them, which instantly improves how they look.
• Keep it light: Models don't have to look perfect for loner than a catwalk moment--and they have the advantage of good lighting. In real life, too much makeup can look chalky, so stick to a lightweight foundation, such as Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua: if you need a heavier formula, apply just a thin layer. And avoid too much powder which can make skin look dull.
• Get the red out: Line the inner rims of the eyes with a beige pencil, which covers up redness. And always curl your lashes to open up your eyes.
• Warm up: Pink and peach blush will enliven your skin tone, while anything with beige tones does the opposite. Apply it right on the apples of your cheeks, and dust it lightly on the tip of your nose and under your chin. This makes it look like you've been outside.
• Go sheer: Stay away from matte or opaque lipsticks, and choose shades that add a hint of color and shine--natural but not so neutral that they blend into your face.