Future You: The Devoted Caregiver
People in their 40s, 50s, and 60s have a trio of obligations to worry about--college for their kids, retirement savings for themselves, and caring for an older parent," says Jean Chatzky, financial expert and author of Age Proof. "You can borrow for college if you have to. You can kick retirement down the road a few years if you must. But when it comes to aging parents, you often can't put it off, and you can't exactly say no." And we don't. Nearly 30% of Americans with a parent age 65 or older help Mom or Dad out financially, according to the Pew Research Center--and that's actually more common in lower-income households.
Mind Your Money
You may not need to know every bank password and outstanding bill at this point, but you do need to know what your parents want life to look like as they age and whether you'll be on the hook to help, says Chatzky. "People tend to avoid these conversations, so I suggest the 70/40 rule. When a parent hits 70 or a child hits 40, it's time to talk," she says. Lean on a pro to make these chats less awkward. Start by calling the investment firm that houses your parent's IRA or 401K--many offer simple and free retirement online tools. Or search the Garrett Planning Network (garrettplanningnetwork.com), which has a database of fee-only financial planners who charge by the hour without long-term commitments. A financial planner can also help create a checklist of paperwork to pull together, such as power of attorney forms, and designate beneficiaries on bank accounts, investments, and insurance policies.
Long-Term Tip
Resist the urge to quit your job to care for an aging parent--even if it feels like most of your paycheck is covering the cost of a home health aide. "There are so many added benefits to working--your health insurance, your employer's 401K contribution--that it can be very expensive to step away," says Kathy Murphy, president of personal investing at Fidelity Investments. She recommends that new caretakers consider other options, such as a short-term sabbatical or going part-time, instead of quitting.
Whether or not you're working, you shouldn't shoulder the cost of caregiving alone. Though daughters are more likely to provide hands-on support than their brothers, all siblings should sit down and discuss who will pay for what. Chatsky suggests dividing recurring bills so someone is in charge of each on rather than trying to split total monthly expenses. The AARP Foundation can connect you with government programs to help aging adults with everything from medical expenses to energy bills.
Future You: Suddenly Single
Women outlive men by nearly five years on average in the U.S., and late-life splits have spiked in recent decades.
Mind Your Money
The time to become actively involved in your finances is now. "If you don't know what's going on financially, having to step in when you're under the stress of divorce or the death of a spouse is really, really tough," says Chatsky.
Sit down together for a financial checkup: How much does your partner make (10% of people get this number wrong by $25,000 or more!), how much do you have in savings and retirement, where is the money invested, and what are the log-in credentials for all the financial accounts? Then, if you don't already have them, think about opening up your own bank account, credit card, and retirement savings. "This forces you to keep an active hand in managing your money--and it means you can save more for retirement," says Chatsky.
Long-Term Tip
Whatever circumstances leave you single, financial experts agree that the smartest money move you can make in the immediate aftermath is this: Do nothing. Don't sell the house. Don't invest the inheritance. Don't quit your job. "Try not to make any major decisions for at least a couple of months--ideally a year," says Michelle Singletary, personal finance columnist and author of The 21-Day Financial Fast. Reorienting to a new reality takes time, and rushing may mean you make decisions you (or your wallet) will regret. Singletary suggests reaching out to a budget counselor from debtadvice.org and whomever you turn to for emotional support: "When everything's a mess, coming up with the new budget is pretty straightforward. It's dealing with the sadness, the loss, and the resentment that makes it hard to adjust and stick to the new plan."
Future You: Time to Downsize
Just 25% of pre-retirees in their 50s feel financially prepared to fund a retirement that lasts even 10 years.
"Many people think retirement is something that's going to happen far off in the future," says Singletary. "But health problems, reorgs, or layoffs could all result in job loss--and you're not guaranteed to get a new job or one that pays as well." While more than half of workers say they expect to still be working after they turn 65, less than 15% of today's retirees actually managed to keep working that long.
Mind Your Money
"Too many women are good savers but have no confidence investing," says Murphy. "But if you're just putting money in a savings account, you're actually losing money," she says, because of inflation. Instead, take a closer look at your 401K or IRA. How is your money invested? Does that level of risk tolerance still make sense? Could you bump up your contributions in case you have to leave the workforce five or 10 years earlier than expected? Running those numbers can be hugely motivating, she says.
Long-Term Tip
If you do leave work early, "keep looking for that new job, but reduce your spending right away," says Singletary. Also, Chatsky points out that more people in their 50s and 60s are padding their wallets by driving for Lyft or renting out a spare room through Airbnb.
Extra money aside, you may still need to consider moving to a smaller house to save on mortgage and maintenance, tapping into the equity of your current home, or even taking Social Security earlier than expected. "When our plans change, it can be very stressful to try something unfamiliar," says Chatsky. "But you want to make sure you have the right information and tools to make a rational decision." Your 97-year-old self will thank you.
What to Do With an Inheritance
Financial expert Jean Chatsky's steps for managing a windfall
1. Spend a little
Go ahead and let yourself splurge with 10% of the money. "You could take a trip to honor your loved one or buy a special piece of jewelry in remembrance," says Chatsky.
2. Pay off debt
The bulk of the money should go toward paying off high-interest debt (like credit card), then into a bank account until you've saved six months of living expenses.
3. Invest the rest
With any extra cash, max out your retirement savings before you pay off your mortgage. "Homes tend to be cheap debt," say Chatsky. "But if you invest the money--especially if you get a company match--you could end up with a healthy nest egg."
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Friday, August 11, 2017
Leap of Faith via Women's Day
One summer, I got out of my middle-aged rut by acting like a kid again.
By Kerry Egan
"Just jump!" a chorus of children yelled from the base of the diving board. I bounced up and down with my back to the pool. Then I nodded at them and took a few deep breaths. I bounced some more and threw my legs into the air. The world went topsy-turvy, and my feet hit the water. At the age of 43 and after weeks of trying, I'd finally done a backflip.
Facing My Fears
When was the last time you learned how to do something that scared you? For me, it was the backflip. Before that, I don't remember. Avoiding challenges just seemed to creep up on me without my noticing as I got older. Part of it was fear, to be honest, and part was complacency and the busy-ness of live in middle age.
As I practiced the backflip, the kids seemed to take it for granted that I would do belly flops or land hard on om back. And they freely commented on my failures. "Looked like that hurt." "You need to get higher." "It's like you just freaked out in the middle of the air." "That was so bad." The teenage boys laughed at me like hyenas. Of course, they laughed at one another like hyenas, too.
But they weren't being mean. They didn't seem to be implying that I should be embarrassed or stop trying. They offered tips and would answer my questions as they waited to do their own crazy spins and giant cannonballs. There was something strangely liberating in the tacit understanding that I was terribly right now, but I'd get better.
The adults never acknowledged my attempts until I actually did the backflip. "That was so great!" one said. "It makes me think I could do it, too," commented another."
"If I can, you can," I told them.
They smiled and shook their heads. "I don't understand how you don't care about messing up or looking bad, about people seeing you," one of them added.
It's true: Some people will judge. But while getting older might make me more afraid of hurting myself, it's done the opposite to my fear of embarrassment. It's a sweet and liberating trade-off.
The Wisdom of Age
"I always thought I'd have more time," a 104-year-old woman said every time I saw her. She was a hospice patient, and I was visiting her as a chaplain. She realized the humor in her comment, but it was the truth, she insisted. Even after more than a century on earth, she was surprised at how quickly her life had gone by, how little time it really was, when she looked back over all of it.
"I wish I'd realized just how young I was 20 years ago," she used to say.
Twenty years ago, she'd been 84.
You'll never again be as young as you are now. You'll never have as much time to overcome your fears as you do in this moment. These are cliches, but they're more accurate than we often care to admit.
So that leaves us with some decisions: Fail to try what we yearn to do, or stop caring back potential judgment. Regret that we did not learn how to fly through the air backward into cold, waiting water 20 years ago, or decide to learn now. Remain mired in the fears of our younger selves, or embrace the liberation of aging. We get to choose.
Kerry Egan is a hospice chaplain and writer. Her most recent book is On Living.
By Kerry Egan
"Just jump!" a chorus of children yelled from the base of the diving board. I bounced up and down with my back to the pool. Then I nodded at them and took a few deep breaths. I bounced some more and threw my legs into the air. The world went topsy-turvy, and my feet hit the water. At the age of 43 and after weeks of trying, I'd finally done a backflip.
Facing My Fears
When was the last time you learned how to do something that scared you? For me, it was the backflip. Before that, I don't remember. Avoiding challenges just seemed to creep up on me without my noticing as I got older. Part of it was fear, to be honest, and part was complacency and the busy-ness of live in middle age.
As I practiced the backflip, the kids seemed to take it for granted that I would do belly flops or land hard on om back. And they freely commented on my failures. "Looked like that hurt." "You need to get higher." "It's like you just freaked out in the middle of the air." "That was so bad." The teenage boys laughed at me like hyenas. Of course, they laughed at one another like hyenas, too.
But they weren't being mean. They didn't seem to be implying that I should be embarrassed or stop trying. They offered tips and would answer my questions as they waited to do their own crazy spins and giant cannonballs. There was something strangely liberating in the tacit understanding that I was terribly right now, but I'd get better.
The adults never acknowledged my attempts until I actually did the backflip. "That was so great!" one said. "It makes me think I could do it, too," commented another."
"If I can, you can," I told them.
They smiled and shook their heads. "I don't understand how you don't care about messing up or looking bad, about people seeing you," one of them added.
It's true: Some people will judge. But while getting older might make me more afraid of hurting myself, it's done the opposite to my fear of embarrassment. It's a sweet and liberating trade-off.
The Wisdom of Age
"I always thought I'd have more time," a 104-year-old woman said every time I saw her. She was a hospice patient, and I was visiting her as a chaplain. She realized the humor in her comment, but it was the truth, she insisted. Even after more than a century on earth, she was surprised at how quickly her life had gone by, how little time it really was, when she looked back over all of it.
"I wish I'd realized just how young I was 20 years ago," she used to say.
Twenty years ago, she'd been 84.
You'll never again be as young as you are now. You'll never have as much time to overcome your fears as you do in this moment. These are cliches, but they're more accurate than we often care to admit.
So that leaves us with some decisions: Fail to try what we yearn to do, or stop caring back potential judgment. Regret that we did not learn how to fly through the air backward into cold, waiting water 20 years ago, or decide to learn now. Remain mired in the fears of our younger selves, or embrace the liberation of aging. We get to choose.
Kerry Egan is a hospice chaplain and writer. Her most recent book is On Living.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
The Bargain Hunter via Better Homes and Gardens
Kate Jackson knows how to stretch her decorating dollars. Here are some of her favorite shopping spots and money-saving tips:
1. Hardware stores brim with good stuff--seriously! What to look for: cutting boards, simple glassware, door knockers, and cabinet hardware.
2. Shop consignment stores for dressers and beds that are well-made, well-designed, and dirt cheap. If it's ugly, paint it. But use good paint.
3. You don't need a whole set of expensive bedding to make a statement. Shop retail outlet stores for decorative Euro shams, then dress the rest of the bed in white. (It's classic and inexpensive).
4. Always carry your key measurements with you, so you don't waste time or money on something that won't fit.
5. Be an equal-opportunity consumer. Shop everywhere--outlet stores, estate and yard sales, eBay, online--and always negotiate.
6. What's totally splurge-worthy? Custom window treatments. "They have a huge impact on any room," Kate says.
1. Hardware stores brim with good stuff--seriously! What to look for: cutting boards, simple glassware, door knockers, and cabinet hardware.
2. Shop consignment stores for dressers and beds that are well-made, well-designed, and dirt cheap. If it's ugly, paint it. But use good paint.
3. You don't need a whole set of expensive bedding to make a statement. Shop retail outlet stores for decorative Euro shams, then dress the rest of the bed in white. (It's classic and inexpensive).
4. Always carry your key measurements with you, so you don't waste time or money on something that won't fit.
5. Be an equal-opportunity consumer. Shop everywhere--outlet stores, estate and yard sales, eBay, online--and always negotiate.
6. What's totally splurge-worthy? Custom window treatments. "They have a huge impact on any room," Kate says.
Protect Your Hair via Allure
Hair Power
Coloring hair can cause it to become dry, dull, and brittle, but certain kinds of antioxidants may offer substantial protection. Moon-Moo Kim, a chemist affiliated with Dong-Eui University in South Korea, exposed hair samples to hydrogen peroxide or ammonia, ingredients in many permanent hair dyes (light or dark). Treating hair first with elm extract, which contains procyanidins--a flavonoid also found in cocoa, red wine, and apples--reduced surface damage and protein breakdown and increased hair strength. Procyanidins have been found to promote hair growth in cases of balding; they may also protect hair against oxidative stress from perming, sunlight, and aging, the study suggests. Elm extract is in some botanical products, such as select Nurture My Body shampoos and conditioners and Kinky-Curly Knot Today detangler.
How to Sign an Email via Allure
Too many email signatures try way too hard, with their inspirational quotes, cute photos, and lines of boilerplate. Will Schwalbe, coauthor of Send: Why People Email So Badly and How You Can Do It Better offers some common-sense guidelines.
Keep it straight
Keep it straight
"Don't get creative with colored text, fonts, or pictures. When your email goes from one system to another, those twee touches are often delivered as attachments. The best type design is black text in Arial or Times New Roman."
Post no bills
"Skip lines like 'Please save our environment by not printing this email unless you have to.' We all get it,"
Add a "handheld" kicker
I replaced the standard message with 'Sent from a handheld, so please excuse terseness and typos.'"
How to Wear Neutrals via Allure
Sure, there are plenty of bright colors on the runways this season, but beige, camel, brown, gray, navy, and white can be worn in fresh new ways. Here's how to do it.
Mix them up
Rather than wearing on color from head to toe,, combine shades from the same family. For instance, try mixing chocolate brown with caramel and cream or navy with charcoal and black.
Choose the right accents
Mix them up
Rather than wearing on color from head to toe,, combine shades from the same family. For instance, try mixing chocolate brown with caramel and cream or navy with charcoal and black.
Choose the right accents
Accessorize with autumnal shades, such as oxblood red, ochre, forest green, or burgundy.
Use structure
In the absence of pattern and color, tailored pieces have a much bigger impact. For instance, look for wide-leg trousers, higher waists, or skirts and dresses detailed with a few pleats.
Textures
Dresses, skirts, and sweaters made with a combination of suede, leather, and wool--all in the same neutral tone--look amazing right now. Or add texture with ribbed tights, a belt, or pieces made with felted wool.
How to Buy Clothes Online via Allure
What to Buy On Sale
Stay ahead of the curve
You actually have a good chance of scoring fashion-forward pieces before they hit the mainstream. We've sold jumpsuits at markdowns for a couple seasons, but only now are they everywhere.
Keep and open mind
You might not find the quintessential Burberry trench on sale, but you can find one in a modified style or color at a discount. You'll have a staple, and it wont look like everyone else's.
Go big
Evening gowns are great to buy on sale, since they're less trend-driven and start out being expensive.
Skip the small stuff
Bags, belts, and wallets stick around from season to season and rarely go on sale.
What to Spring for at Full Price
Think long term
If you see beautiful, classic pieces--the perfect cashmere scarf in oatmeal or black; simple ankle boots or oxford shoes--get them. Those rarely show up on sale later.
Make a statement
On the flip side, I spring for that single, standout piece that will inspire the way I dress for an entire season. Recently we had a right yellow, off-the-shoulder sweater by Thakoon that flew out of the store. People went crazy for the unusual color and easy, drapey silhouette. When you see something like that, you have to act.
Track it down
The Internet is a great tool for locating that bag you love but can't find in a certain color. You'll usually see a full range of hues online, but probably at full price.
What to Buy at a Flash Sale
Be prepared
Flash sales are great for designers you love whose clothes might ordinarily be out of your price range. Check a site's calendar so you know what's coming. Use themed sales--such as "casual Fridays" or "the statement necklace"--to discover new designers, but focus on silhouettes that you know work for you.
Know yourself
Don't buy something just because it's in style or drastically reduced in price--it should always be something you'll really use. If you're the kind of person who carries your life in your bag, go for roomy, sturdy totes, not delicate clutches.
When in doubt, click
If there's an item you're debating, stick it in your cart while you mull it over. If you see something you want in someone else's cart, keep refreshing your screen in case it resurfaces.
Stay ahead of the curve
You actually have a good chance of scoring fashion-forward pieces before they hit the mainstream. We've sold jumpsuits at markdowns for a couple seasons, but only now are they everywhere.
Keep and open mind
You might not find the quintessential Burberry trench on sale, but you can find one in a modified style or color at a discount. You'll have a staple, and it wont look like everyone else's.
Go big
Evening gowns are great to buy on sale, since they're less trend-driven and start out being expensive.
Skip the small stuff
Bags, belts, and wallets stick around from season to season and rarely go on sale.
What to Spring for at Full Price
Think long term
If you see beautiful, classic pieces--the perfect cashmere scarf in oatmeal or black; simple ankle boots or oxford shoes--get them. Those rarely show up on sale later.
Make a statement
On the flip side, I spring for that single, standout piece that will inspire the way I dress for an entire season. Recently we had a right yellow, off-the-shoulder sweater by Thakoon that flew out of the store. People went crazy for the unusual color and easy, drapey silhouette. When you see something like that, you have to act.
Track it down
The Internet is a great tool for locating that bag you love but can't find in a certain color. You'll usually see a full range of hues online, but probably at full price.
What to Buy at a Flash Sale
Be prepared
Flash sales are great for designers you love whose clothes might ordinarily be out of your price range. Check a site's calendar so you know what's coming. Use themed sales--such as "casual Fridays" or "the statement necklace"--to discover new designers, but focus on silhouettes that you know work for you.
Know yourself
Don't buy something just because it's in style or drastically reduced in price--it should always be something you'll really use. If you're the kind of person who carries your life in your bag, go for roomy, sturdy totes, not delicate clutches.
When in doubt, click
If there's an item you're debating, stick it in your cart while you mull it over. If you see something you want in someone else's cart, keep refreshing your screen in case it resurfaces.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)